Today Z. had her first ice skating lesson.
Today Z. had her first ice skating lesson because I am trying very hard not to be the kind of parent I am. That is to say, I am trying very hard not to be the overprotective freaky mother that I think I might already be. I really don’t want to be the mom wrapping the bubble wrap around and around, packing tape at the ready, or cutting the steak of the 16-year-old with a butter knife, or telling my soon-to-be-30 child how to mow the lawn without inadvertently removing a toe or two. Or requiring a blood transfusion. Or losing an eye. I’m just saying.
So when K. said that maybe Z. could try along with the boys I swallowed the 28 reasons that rose immediately in my throat as to why it was a bad idea and said, “Ok.” We drove to the rink, paid our money, got her some skates, and sent her on to the ice.
I was kind of secretly hoping that she would turn out to be an ice skating savant. You know, we’d put the ice skates on her and tie them up nice and tight and she would glide out on the ice and never look back. I’ve been waiting patiently for the savantness to show up in our family, for someone to be very, very, intensely good at something.
Z. and ice skating are not the answer to my savant dreams.
Does it matter that she was very wobbly, that her ankles went every which way, that she fell and cried, cried and fell, that in the end she turned into a huge blotchy teary messy mess? On the one hand it matters quite a lot, and then again it matters The Very Most It Could Matter. But she did it. And I did it.
Now I’m all conflicted about what to do at the next class and I feel rather more protective about Z. than I did 4 hours ago but I took the first step in letting her go and I’m going to remember what this feels like.
For the next time.
Hugs and pat on the back for “letting go” just a little bit.
Good for you. Good for Z….it’s a such a joyful, magical skill to me and the closest I’ll ever come to flying. Would elbow and knee pads make it less scary for her? can’t tell if she’s wearing them in the picture. There is dignity in taking risks … she’ll get there!
Where we live they have many typical classes, but within the typical context they are geared for children with special needs. For example, for gymnastics there is “Big Fun”. The kids have a great time because the instructors/coaches are trained to assist children with special needs (ie know the boundaries on how much to push the kids). Additionally, it is very community building betn parents. Perhaps you can research and find out if there is anything like that in your area for Z.
Thanks, anon. I haven’t ever run across such classes here, and none of the therapists have ever mentioned them. But I will look into it. I’d love to have Z. in a class like you’ve described!