if not for the zippers

First
E. and I had our belt tests yesterday. Not only was I sick but I had gotten my period* and my period is a big, bloody mess these days. Hello premenopause! So I floated through the test in a haze of Tylenol Severe Sinus, blood, sweat,** snot, tampons, and fear.
For the “combination kicks***” part of the test I was matched with a snippy little 14-year-old who almost kicked me in the head about 12 times and did actually step on my foot. He gave me vintage 14-year-old dirty looks of the you-are-such-an-old-lady type which in my panicked state I completely ignored. I was also paired with him during the “one steps****” and we were right in front of the table behind which was sitting the master. This was not a happy moment for me. Master Yi spent most of the time glancing around and staring at his large black binder and only asked me to redo one thing (twice).
When it came time for the board breaking I was feeling all satisfied with myself because the first board break is (naturally) the easiest and I felt ready for it. Uh huh. Except they don’t bring out the teensy little extremely thin balsa wood boards for the adults like they do for the kids. Our boards are disturbingly thicker.***** I broke it on my first attempt thankfully.
I am not quite officially a yellow belt yet because the belts do not come in for a week or two. But I am semi-officially no longer a white belt, and I didn’t cry at all during the test. I get to check off one of my “resolutions” which isn’t really fair because I knew that I would get my yellow belt no problem. You need a couple of gimmes in the resolution game I suppose.
E. glided through his test like I knew he would.
Second
If not for the zippers I would be completely finished with Christmas 2009 right now. I was all ready to go today and I sat and cut out my fabric and started my laborious sewing thought processes and then realized that I had no zippers of the correct length. argh. As it stands I am approximately 2 hours of sewing away from saying goodbye to Christmas. Then I can move on to my good friend’s birthday which was on Valentine’s Day.
Third
The winner of the give-away is KelliAmanda! I shall email you posthaste.
Next month’s give-away is going to be themed around my favorite things (favorite smallish, inexpensive type things) because March is my birthday month and it is therefore all about me. I need to start working on a list of smallish, inexpensive things that I love. I shall put that list on my list of stuff to do. Perhaps I’ll make a list of my lists of lists. Then I shall be very organized while I accomplish next to nothing.
*I have no good euphemism for this–you would think I would by now. The closest I get is when I txt my lucky friend M. and say “The Eagle Has Landed” in my most mysterious voice, except she doesn’t get the voice because, well, I’m txting her.
**When there are lots of guests Master Yi turns up the heat. And then it is too hot.
***I have no combination kicks. I have only a few single kicks, and it takes me upwards of a minute to actually get ready to kick. Which is a really, really, really long time in karate-years. It’s like 500 karate-years.
****I can’t begin to explain these to you because I don’t really know what they are. Preset defense patterns. I. Loathe. Them.
*****Although I think they are still pretty balsa-woodsy. Of course not so balsa-woodsy that they don’t hurt. They do. Hurt. More than I thought they would. I’m already dreading the elbow break in 10 weeks. I also think that the black belts helpfully attempt to snap them when you hit them. But that’s just a guess.